He shrugs. "I would have shown up sooner, with a worse attitude and a car less likely to be stolen." In short, who you contacted is who you got.

He is tempted to eat the damn card just to see if he can get a strong reaction out of this guy, but while he's not exactly mentally stable, he isn't unhinged and there are limits.

Also cardstock in his molars sounds terrible.

So he just puts it back in his pocket.

"Good. Now can I look at the books?"